Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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