Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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