stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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