found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Alive.
So much puke
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
