The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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