what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
