What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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