You can't special order awesome
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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