it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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