Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
