this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
