Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
