My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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