nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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