im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
