so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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