she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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