New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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