god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
