Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
