Dual....:-)
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
