he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
