And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
