physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
