I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
