do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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