if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
