after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
