you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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