White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
