cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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