Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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