Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
