Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
