That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
