I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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