After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
