that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
