I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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