I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
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Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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