We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
