I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
