You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.