Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
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Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN