i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.