Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
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The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
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Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out