He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?