My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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