I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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