u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
