are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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