dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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