well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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