giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
