They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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