Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
