Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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