Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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