do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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