I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
