loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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