When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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