She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
