I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
