Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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