for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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