You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Fuck appropriateness.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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